A Blip On Healing

Becky Costello
Feb 18
4 min read

The theme around healing has been on my mind a lot lately. Many of my clients too.

Being we just began the year of the Fire Horse, 2026 is going to be all about redefining ourselves and how we express ourselves in the world.

I thought maybe now would be a good time to discuss a viewpoint on healing.

For me, it has meant deep diving into areas of life where I am not “living”.

Over the years I have found myself becoming rigid.

Life has a way of hardening you sometimes.

If you have met me, you probably know I am a bit rough around the edges. In my 50’s I still cuss like a sailor and am rather cynical. And I am learning to be comfortable with the fact I make others uncomfortable sometimes.

When I was a kid, I was a bit crazy, and the message was received loud and clear “comply or be rejected”. I was a kid with ADHD and was born psychic. It makes reality really fricking confusing when you are so little and absorbing the energy of literally EVERYTHING around you. I was filled with questions and would push back if something didn’t feel right or make sense. I also learned early on that people do not like that.

Several months ago, I got the chance to start working with a few horses and felt drawn to one in particular. He was a self-retired racehorse. He won some big races and one day he decided to say “F-this” and never raced again. He decided there were better things to do with his time.

I was terrified of him before even meeting him. His nickname was “PTSD” because he would bite you as a way of getting you to look at your crap. So, I approached with caution. Over time what I came to appreciate was his role as the one who triggers others… other horses, and especially, other people.

When I come to the farm he greets me most days near the fence. And on one particular day, he placed his big head upon my chest and just sat there. I told him “I see you”… my way of telling him I understand him and I accept him as he is. I felt my heart melt a little. I hadn’t realized how walled off it had been, but I have compassion for how it got there.

What I am realizing is that he is a mirror to me… the trigger. I trigger people because I call people out on shit. I see what they don't want to see or what they try to hide. That usually doesn’t go over very well.

Through engaging with this horse, I have learned to accept that part of myself. I am learning to speak up and not worry about being rejected. I am also learning how to put boundaries into place and defend them, sometimes boldly, if needed, even if it feels mean. I am redefining how I show up in the world because of him.

I help others heal but had no clue how to apply that to myself. I help others shift mindset, but I have become so skilled at it, it becomes a damn tornado inside of my head. Thinking doesn’t work well when it’s already a dumpster fire in there. And I came to learn I really suck at the "feeling the shit" part.

Clinically speaking, healing is a holistic process that restores inner peace and balance by addressing emotional, mental, AND spiritual needs. It involves supporting the body's natural ability to heal. It involves “shadow work” where one focuses on releasing past traumas, and other unsavory aspects of self. The goal is achieved by fostering self-awareness and growing your connection to the Creator/God. One must learn acceptance, surrender, and the meaning of forgiveness. It also requires daily work to foster your relationship with Divinity… whatever that is to you.

I honestly feel most of the depression and anxiety we feel in this world is because of a lack of connection to that Higher Power.

Now, taking this into consideration, you come to understand healing is ugly as furrrk (typo intended).

It’s accountability that brings guilt and shame along with it.

It means being responsible for your triggers and emotional intensity, yet it also means speaking your truth.

It’s having to unearth the root of the trouble, which means mucking around in the shit.

It should be no surprise to understand why the world is tore up from the floor up.

Healing isn’t for the weak, that’s for sure.

Healing isn’t going to a therapist and whining for an hour every other week. Healing is the active participation in understanding yourself and not making excuses for your behavior or anyone else’s.

It is learning skillsets on how to allow yourself to feel, how to communicate and how to actually thrive, instead of merely survive.

Fire is the element of the Soul.

A horse is much more than a 1200 lb beast.

It is memory and Divine power in motion.

Horse teaches strength with grace, while also retaining its powerful wild expression.

Its movement is intentional.

It is freedom.

It struggles but remains capable of living authentically.

You may be down, but don’t let it steal your thunder.

Let your Soul remember where it came from.

Move boldly in this remembrance, with grace and wild expression.

Move through life intentionally… not like a zombie.