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Detachment and Peace



Detachment... This word conjures up a lot of misconceptions, yet, it is incredibly vital for our growth and wellbeing.

We typically think it means to be separate or be without something.

We are told to “detach” from people, situations, wants, etc… however, this is perceived as “cold” or that we are unmotivated. That couldn’t be further from the truth.


Detachment is simply freedom from a particular perception, bias or prejudice.

Detachment is to be in the state of observation, not judgement.

Detachment is the embracing of our feelings and seeking to understand the learning in them.


Detachment is about letting go of our mental and emotional attachment to our desires and finding faith instead. It is the growth of a deeper connection, not a disconnection.

Detachment is required for us to be fully present and fully aware. In doing this, we can get to know and hear the voice of our Soul Self. It moves the human brain (ego self) off to the side, so we can tap into the wisdom and the knowledge of a higher consciousness. It helps us to get to know who we are deep down when we shut off the thoughts and fears that circle around pertaining to how or who we should be.


What is detachment exactly?

Well, it is about practicing nonjudgement and utilizing discernment instead. Wanna know what the difference is between the two? Data. Discernment is to be able to learn something. Judgement is to show a lack of awareness because information is missing. It doesn’t mean it’s a good/bad thing, just that we should be aware of it.

Many people think detachment means we need to rid ourselves of the emotions we experience. It’s quite the opposite actually. Observe your emotions with non-judgement. Emotions carry information, and it is up to us to extract that information. The information can teach us things. Why else would we have chosen to be humans??


Detachment doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be moved or affected by things. That isn’t life at all! We came here to experience all sorts of things, it is our humanness that has categorized/judged these things, not our Souls.

Detachment is NOT avoiding, suppressing, rejecting, or running away from life. Detachment is observation without judgement, then seeking understanding regarding certain things and THIS is what leads to peace.


Our human egos turn everything we see or experience into a category, a story, and we even “predict” where it will go as a way to try to minimize potential damage or protect us somehow. No wonder we are all so disappointed when it doesn’t work out that way... all we focus on is the doom and gloom of how things could go.


Our little human mind likes to spew the bullshit that peace only comes when we are happy and uncomfortable emotions do not phase us or don’t occur at all. Unless you are a robot, that’s not reality. Again, humans feel. Everything… the good the bad and the ugly.



It may confuse you to know that detachment is not running from or avoiding experiences but embracing life fully with an open heart and always from the place of being the seeker or the learner. Life can suck sometimes, and when it does, we are to learn and understand that nothing is permanent here and everything ebbs and flows, much like the waters of the sea. We own nothing. Nothing and no one belongs to us. What we pay for we are merely “renting” or sharing for the sake of learning.


Detachment is not that you own or feel nothing. It is that anything you feel does not own you!


In life, we can get hung up on things we have gone through or experienced and we become addicted to them. We may wish things were different. Give it some time and assess the changes YOU need to make in your thoughts or perceptions or what actions need to be taken, and when you do this, life changes.


So many want to be “happy”. I would ask you to consider this… happiness is a temporary state. It is an amplification of egoic energy to propel inspiration, creativity, and change. When you feel it, enjoy it, but remember it’s a temporary state of being, and it too, ebbs and flows.

And the same should be said when we are upset. Do not try to block the feelings out. Again, remember, it’s temporary, and when we stop to look at it, learn from it and make the changes that may be needed. Our thoughts and feelings are never a problem... running, avoiding, resisting or clinging to them is what causes our suffering. Understand that to be human means to feel… everything… and these things we feel shift and change... if and when we do.


Our Soul Self is always detached and peaceful internally, it’s our ego self that goes off the rails. Did you know that that’s ok? Just give yourself time to look at it instead of blame/shame/run/hide/flip out.


When feeling something, ask yourself what it’s trying to teach you or show you ABOUT YOU. I can promise you; it is NEVER negative, only informative (if negativity pops up, that’s your damn mind doubling down on you). It seeks to inform you about YOU. If you twist it to be negative, understand your drunk human is in the driver’s seat, and you’re about ready to crash the car.


Allow yourself to feel.

These feelings can teach you so much about you…. your strength… your courage.

It can help you to create the life you want.

It is how you can know yourself deeply.


You will remember peace as your Soul Self anchors, and your ego moves out of the way.



With Love,


Becky Costello, Psychic Medium.

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