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How to Love When You Don't Want To



Be the space where abuse and harm cease to exist.

Dig the spot where judgement and fear are laid to rest.

Be the light in the darkness when someone needs to know the way.

Have the eyes to see the ones who need to be noticed.

Show those with broken hearts what it means to be loved.

Be the exception to someone’s perception that there is no one there who cares.


Everyone has tender and sensitive hearts right now. Emotions are very much on the surface right now and the world can feel it. And people are also showing their true colors, or, we are finally willing to see it.


If you have the strength and courage to show up in this world authentically, lovingly and with sincere vulnerability, you will come to find who is really there for you and who you can lean on when times are trying. You then encourage each other to be beautifully open and to connected in a way unlike before. This loving world does exist, but it takes great courage to step into it. The fear of rejection is a strong one, and it is a warrior who is authentic and speaks his truth (despite the fear) who gets to know this type of freedom.


Or you can dig in, make decisions to intentionally hurt others and sit there and judge and be defensive. That’s ok too. You are trying to protect your heart or the heart of another. But you are not growing. You are not learning the way that is best for you, and you are denying yourself true freedom. In the end you hurt yourself and you hurt others, and there is karma to pay for that. We must all love ourselves enough to look at the parts of ourselves that we reject and to want better for ourselves and for the world around us or we are merely connecting with the energy of the problem. If you do not deal with what cut you, you will cut others so they bleed with you… whether you know this or not.


Spiritual growth happens at different rates, and I think its important for people to understand this. Just like a kindergartner is different from a college senior in their awareness and behavior, so too is the same spiritually. We must stop when our triggers get popped and see where we are, and where they are. Are you a senior and they a 3rd grader? Does it make any sense to align like this? Maybe if you are babysitting.


Those unawakened to their own pain and shadows deserve to be understood and loved… from a distance, for your heart is sensitive too. Hating and judging those that hurt you does nobody any good and only lends to the pot of negativity in the world. Understand we can share love to those who inflict hurt, but it is best to do it from a distance and seek to understand what may be driving them to do what they are doing so we can easier find the compassion when we would prefer to be angry.


The next several weeks there will be much energetic sorting out to do as February leads us towards newer, and for some, greener, pastures. Sort out what is going on and observe right now. Be still within your heart and see the situation and the person with loving eyes. Weigh the energy.


Does it feel like the person is in alignment with you? Then communicate openly and let the fallout be what it is and trust the higher path for your future. If they truly are aligned, it will all work itself out with greater appreciation of each other.


Does the person seem to be no longer aligned? Honor that observation. Was something done that is a red flag to you and its a no-go? Love yourself enough to honor that. You can choose to do one of two things… say the reasons you are stepping away so that they may learn something, should they choose to heal. Or, gently just let things slip away, and continue to love from afar regardless.



Be the best version of yourself and operate from your best moral code every moment of every day.

Be true to you without question while maintaining compassion (try it, it's hard!).

Stand up for yourselves or you will be easy to take out at the knees.

Have compassion for those who’s hearts are so shut down they do not know the pain they cause, but it doesn't mean they need to be near by.


We are living in a world where people are doing some really stupid shit for really stupid reasons. It can make us crazy in the head sometimes. Step back and assess things with an open heart and open mind and try to see past your own feelings and find the way into compassion, but do NOT let people shit on you.

It is possible to love from afar and sometimes its safer.

But nonetheless, it is still love.



With Love,

Becky Costello, Psychic Medium

Dancing Elk Shamanic Healing

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