When I began my nursing career, I worked in memory care for a period of time. I had a way of being able to see where they “were”… not just where they are. The confusion, frustration and anger the people with dementia can experience is heart wrenching. And the same can be said of watching those who love them grieve for years watching the person they know slowly disappear in front of them.
This post is a question-and-answer conversation I had with a client who was struggling with watching her father go through Alzheimer’s and the questions she had because of this disease.
And because it hits home for me as well, I am putting this here for those of you who are going through this too or have lost someone who suffered with this disease.
I would like to thank this client for reaching out and asking these questions and being vulnerable enough to let me share our conversation and for wanting to help others to understand this too.
What happens to a person's soul/spirit when they suffer from Alzheimer's?
They become whole again on the other side, retaining their personality, quirks and all.
Are their memories or life experiences simply erased?
In the human mind yes, as it feels like sand slipping through your fingers. However, every single thing that they experienced in life, whether you remember it or not, is recorded in the subconscious but also in what is called the Akashic Records, which is the Soul's library of every lifetime experience.
Will they be put back together on the other side?
They return to the true essence of who they are innately, meaning, they become even more whole than they were in human form. This is true for all spirits who have passed on, regardless of what their ailments were while in human form. When they pass, these ailments completely disappear.
Are the newer experiences during the period when they suffer short-term memory loss recorded in their mind and will it affect their experience on the other side?
I always feel that regardless of human memory, every experience is recorded and when we cross over, we can access it all... minus the icky feelings we may have felt in our human form. I have had numerous people on the other side who had dementia come through whole and pure and restored to how they were before this illness happened.
My dad has Alzheimer's and it’s really hard to watch him slowly disappear. He still remembers his family for now, but him having this terrible disease feels like my childhood is somehow disappearing too.
I cannot even imagine how you feel regarding the perception of losing your childhood. Your childhood is a series of experiences and memories that are in your heart and mind, and they will never disappear. The feeling you are going through right now is because the mind and personality of the man you identified with the role of "dad" is changing, and you are left with a familiar face but a personality you do not know and you are trying to make sense of it and it's really hard to do. As each week passes, the body remains the same, the face slowly changes, and the man you know disappears a chunk at a time, replaced by a “stranger”. Oftentimes this “stranger” is actually a much younger version of themselves, regressing back towards childhood, then again, replaced by another “stranger” when they lose certain abilities.
This causes grief because we come to realize that we cannot pinpoint when our loved one left us, yet he looks like a replica of who you know... if that makes sense.
What I learned is that people who pass on retain their personality, memories and love. But what if their memories are erased before they die? Do they get all that back?
On the other side they do indeed return to who you knew them to be, oftentimes even better! The things experienced in the fog of Alzheimer's is still recorded in the subconscious brain and travels with them into the Heavenly realms. Oftentimes during readings they will recite some of these things back to you!
As the end keeps coming closer and closer, I keep thinking about him and his current way of life, and how he is turning more and more into a child- an innocent person who is seeing everything for the first time.
I love your interpretation of this... the returning to a childlike state. Oftentimes when they try to engage, others who do not understand or accept the illness will try to correct them and this only adds an undue amount of stress. When he engages, talk with him and ask him questions about what he is sharing in that very moment (even if it makes no sense to you, he is likely sharing a memory from childhood or he’s sharing with you where is mind is!).
People with Alzheimer's know they are losing their memory for a good part of the illness, and correcting them causes stress because they feel inferior and then shut down, no longer engaging. Oftentimes they stare and daydream, as a part of their spirit is in the etheric realms.
My dad was a brilliant man who had an amazing mind and did great things in his life. He was incredibly generous to many people, and he was a wonderful father. He was a major inspiration to me and will always be.
Tell this to him and share the memories with him. Even if they are in a non-coherent state, this message and love gets through! Thank him for the good times he gave and the love he shared and remind him that no matter what, you will always love him and be there for him with this journey he is on.
Will he be whole again after he passes on?
This I can promise you. He will be restored to his pure self. Free from pain and struggle... mentally, emotionally and physically. His heart, mind and Spirit will be fully healed and when he visits you, he will be the best version of himself.
For those of you who are going through this or who have lost a loved one to Alzheimer's or dementia, I hope this can bring you a little bit of comfort.
Rebecca Costello Psychic Medium
Dancing Elk Shamanic Healing