When You See A Gold Star...

Every year someone texts me “Happy Memorial Day weekend”.

This is nothing to celebrate. It pisses me off.

I know people who lost their lives after they have come home because the war lived on in their heads and hearts.

I know people and I have counselled people who have lost their children while serving our country.

I have counselled medics who could not save their fallen comrades and came home with survivor’s guilt.

THIS is the meaning of Memorial Day… a day that is meant to honor those who have DIED for your freedom.

Freedom isn’t free.

I love that fact people think of and honor our Veterans…. Don’t get me wrong, but that is what Veteran’s Day is for.

This weekend, while many are enjoying the weather, grilling out, having a beer and enjoying the day off, there are others who grieve.

I didn’t understand what the military family star flag was until my son enlisted. It was hard because he was a minor at the time, but he knew what he wanted to do at 13. As he stated recently, he comes from a family of strong men (his father and his grandfather, who passed the day before he deployed) and since he was a young boy, he has felt something inside him urging him to do something “more”. I asked him if he understood what he was signing at 17 and that it meant he may die for this country… he said “I know mom… yes”.

When a family has a loved one is enlisted, the star is blue (if 2 are enlisted, 2 blue stars). Some of you may have seen one on my vehicle.

If you see a sticker or a flag, it means that this person has a family member who is serving our country.

But there is another flag that also honors our veterans, but the star on this flag is gold.

This doesn’t have the same meaning as the gold stars we earned when we were in grade school.

It doesn’t mean “good”… it means “grief”.

I well up with sadness when I see these.

The Gold Star Family… a designation no one wants to live with.

The Gold Star family is one who has experienced the loss of a loved one, an immediate family member, who died as the result of active-duty military service. Those who die in service to their country leave behind parents, siblings, spouses, children, and extended families. This is what “Gold Star Family” means. The title is meant to honor the service member’s ultimate sacrifice while also acknowledging their family’s loss and grief.

So this weekend, pause to think about those who died for you before you bite into that burger or drink your beer.

If you want to do something to honor those who have fallen and you are feeling like a bad ass, try the Murph… The Murph is a challenging workout that honors Navy SEAL Lieutenant Michael Murphy (look up his story), consisting of a 1-mile run, 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, 300 squats, and another 1-mile run, often performed while wearing a weighted vest. It is a popular event on Memorial Day to remember fallen service members.

Or simply give a moment of silence for those men and women who died fighting for this country.

To those of you who are spending the weekend thinking about those who served and sacrificed, please know my heart is with you… forever grateful, for you sacrificed too.

With Love and Honor,

Rebecca Costello, Psychic Medium

Dancing Elk Shamanic Healing