Let me begin by telling you about Iceland…
It is an island entirely made up of Lava Rock. Lava Rock has a very special healing ability.
I arrive on the island and my feet made contact with the ground 30 min after arrival at the airport. And for the remainder of my stay, my body and soul remained cocooned in the energy of this healing stone.
Lava Stone’s (aka Basalt) healing abilities:
In ancient times, it was known as a protective stone, also providing grounding and stability.
Connecting to the root chakra, it strengthens our connection to Earth.
It is also associated to the 3rd chakra and the element of fire, governing courage, confidence, wisdom and willpower. It also helps one to express themselves clearly.
Connected to the Sun, Earth and Pluto, it helps one to transform themselves in a powerful, yet grounded manner.
It relates to the number 1, a number of new beginnings, easing one’s ability to let go of the past and embrace newness where there is fear of or resistance to change.
Birthed from fire, it works via the act of destruction that fire is so well known for. This stone’s intention is to move you to a place of stability and courage so you can transform yourself, finding your resilience, independence and courage and it does so by breaking things down that need to go.
And I am standing and an entire fucking island of this stuff.
Aaaand… then the breakdown came. Actually, it’s more like the entire damn world fell in on me.
Not sleeping for days doesn’t help matters much. But it sure feels like it was perfectly orchestrated to happen that way.
As the end of Saturday rolled around, the group was leaving for a Northern Lights tour… I was heading to my room to lose my shit in private. I texted my husband and a few special friends. I was desperate, if I am being completely honest. Every damn fear I held within me I had to face that night. I couldn’t stop crying.
I didn’t sleep again that night, as the lights turned themselves on again after only 2 hours of sleep. I was in full on panic mode at 3am and suddenly I felt a wave of something move THROUGH me.
And suddenly, all my pain, all my resistance, all my fear, all my failures, and all the bullshit I told myself for so many years, vanished. In an instant I was purified and knew everything was going to be ok.
I headed down to breakfast feeling renewed. What you may not know about me is that I have been in search of my own light for the last 20 years. Elusive it was, as the moments of light I found were only temporary. I longed for the wild, adventurous, and free spirit I used to be. But people had been cruel and life had thrown a shit-ton of bricks and sharp rocks at me, and I didn’t even realize I had created my own pretty little prison out of them. The fear of pain paralyzed me, but I didn’t know how to shake it loose.
Iceland helped me with that… when it broke me.
Then it blessed me… so I could live again.
This was my first trip out of country.
I had to face the fear of doing it without my husband who has always been my rock.
I had to face the fear of leaving him behind and being scared to death something would happen and I wouldn’t be here if he needed me. I almost lost him once and the fear of that happening again was terrifying for me.
I had to face the fear of not being able to keep up physically with my active and adventurous friend and fear that she may resent me because of it.
I had to face my fear of crowds because I struggle with all the energy, and I fear losing my damn mind on people who have no situational awareness (the thought crossed my mind a few times to throw a few people into the waterfalls or geyser).
I had to face the fear of feeling unsafe and that I may be left behind in a land so far away from home.
I also had to face the fear of getting into a bathing suit in front of a lot of people
What I learned:
Damn, do I make up a lot of excuses to hold myself back!
I can physically do a hell of a lot more than I have allowed myself to.
The fear we hold is bullshit. We own no one and nothing here in this world and we cannot control anything. You cannot prevent or hide from grief. But you sure the hell can hide from living!
The people we hold near and dear to us deserve our undivided attention, but we must not cling to them. Doing so harms all of us.
That I am a different person now and that I can drink responsibly and let my hair down and that for the first time since Oct of 2008, I felt safe enough to drink, let alone with people I do not really know.
Coming home:
It’s weird to step back into the life you left when going through an event like this.
You come home and see life differently, you feel different inside, but you don’t quite have the words or the understanding of what that means for life back here.
I found the energy of coming back here very dis-jointing. I was surprised by how disharmonious this place is in comparison to the harmony of Iceland. And what’s even stranger is how we acclimate and get used to this dissonance. But I can’t… no… I won’t get used to that again.
We numb ourselves with phones, computers, TVs, video games. We live in a place that does everything it can to keep us from opening our hearts and connecting… and if we try, its from a wonky place and we are often barraged with negative energy.
Bottom line, we are mind-controlled little biocomputers who have lost our Divine connection and “do as we are told” without questioning it. We willingly imprison ourselves.
Don’t believe me?
Put away your phone.
Turn off your computer and tv.
How do you feel?
Itchy? Anxious? Bored?
When you put these items away, emotions surface, and it is uncomfortable.
Stop living on those stupid things. Stop staring out the window.
Stop hoarding clothes and other material crap.
Purify your home, your body and your mind.
Let yourself break.
You will not die.
In fact, you might find you finally live.
** to my clients and new friends who were also with me on this group trip with Crisco from KS95, from the bottom of my heart I thank you for being a part of MY healing journey.
With much love to you all,
Becky Costello, Psychic Medium
Dancing Elk Shamanic Healing