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Who came up with this idea that spiritual people, empathic beings, should play small?

I can tell you where it came from.


That stupid feeling like we are “too much” for other people. Resonate? Had a feeling it might. Many of us have had that occurrence where our energy “triggers” others, and they get uncomfortable around us. What is really happening is our light is triggering the hidden crap in others. They get uncomfortable, put distance in the relationship and we are left feeling abandoned. This abandonment issue causes us to try and remain hidden, heaven forbid we cast a little light on their skeletons, and we end up hurt.


In other instances, they become so uncomfortable they blame you for it. They refuse to look inward. They refuse to do their own inner work. They do all kinds of crap to keep you at a distance. They will talk shit behind your back. Manipulate. They will even gaslight you. These types of interactions leave us hurting, wondering what we did wrong. This turns into a habit of constantly blaming yourself for other people’s reactions to you. You are literally telling yourself you don't matter. Holy shit… into the rabbit hole we go.


Unworthiness becomes the result.

You choose to people-please over practicing self-care.

You lose yourself because your life became all about the needs of others.



For many, our souls experience this as a lesson to overcome in this lifetime. To heal that feeling of unworthiness and to release the self-blame. It is to own your power and understand you may make others uncomfortable and even unhappy because of this.


Sometimes, you fall further into the rabbit hole and you find ways to blame yourself for all kinds of shit that has nothing to do with you. “If I were a better person” … “if I gave more”… and the list goes on.

Heck, they even go on telling themselves they are being punished by God and must have been a bad person in this life or in a past life.

Have you questioned if your perception of Source/God resembles one of your parental figures?? Hmm…


They go on and grow spiritually, then that becomes a target of self-blame too. They feel they do not have a high enough vibration, their chakras are muddy, they are not wise enough, intuitive enough and/or they are not connected enough to God... NONE of this is why people react funny to you. NONE of it.


This then leads to a lack of authenticity... that energy of being unabashedly real, raw and pure. Raw in your thoughts, emotions and actions. I cannot tell you how many times people have looked at me with a deer in headlights kind of look when I ask them what is authentic for them.


Here is what I would like you to do today.

Be real, authentic. Choose you.

Stop hiding because you fear that who you are will make others uncomfortable emotionally.

You shouldn’t worry if you make people uncomfortable. Everybody’s undies are way too tight anyway. Why not shake things up a bit.


Do you worry about people talking smack behind your back if you are real? I get it. I still get hurt too.. but honor that. Then realize what/who you are dealing with. If they turn on you, it is for YOUR best and highest good. And in the end, they look like assholes anyway, for those types of behaviors generate outcomes in their realities. Karma.

Walk away knowing you just shined a very bright light in their darkest closets. Who cares if they got shaken up by it.


We are here to be masters of our own Light. Playing small does not get you anywhere near that. If things happen, it is not a sign the Universe does not want it for you… but perhaps YOUR SOUL doesn’t. God does not deny us anything. We do. We create our realities. You are ALWAYS in the flow. Did you know that?


When things begin to get toxic, what does your Soul want to do about it? This becomes the essence of mastery. The Souls will find the gifts, or silver linings. The Soul will have no problem speaking its truth or placing a boundary where it’s needed.


There is nothing noble about playing small or being humble. Oh.. did you think being humble was a good thing? Ummm…. nope. Humble means having a lower value of one's own dignity or sense of importance in relation to others or God/Source. It means to perceive yourself as less than in comparison to others. That's inaccurate, because we are fragments of God.

What the heck kinda help is that to humanity to be humble? None!


Funny how we misinterpret language isn’t it?

Being humble dims your light. We came here to illuminate the world. C’mon man!

Shining that light and owning your bad-assery does NOT make you the biggest narcissist in the cosmos.

Shining your light isn’t about being loud.

It isn’t about making waves.

It isn’t about being noticed.

It's about loving without attachment to outcome.


Shining your light is simply an energy that flips on the light in others to see within, learn to love themselves more and to begin their own inward journey. That is done through kindness, compassion and understanding. And a loving smile goes a long way too.

But understand, being Light does not mean tolerating abuse or toxicity. Being Light is loving yourself enough to put an end to that stuff, even if it hurts.


Understand, it is only your job to oversee your own growth, not the growth of others (especially at your expense).



With Love,

Rebecca Costello, Psychic Medium

Dancing Elk Shamanic Healing

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