Self-Reliance and The Destruction of Faith
We live in a culture of self-focus. We don't recognize the dangers of this in our lives. I hope to shed a little light on this subject matter in the hopes that maybe it helps us all to do an about face.
The evidence of self promotion is everywhere...
I choose.
I define.
My way.
My thoughts.
My feelings.
I tell you what's right for me.
I tell you what's right for you.
Look what I did.
Look what I built.
Look what I've done.
Look what I have.
I can do this for you.
I need to _____.
Control-Control-Control… because no one can protect me from getting hurt. So, I will go ahead and make myself what others will accept to decrease the risk of emotional pain. Or I will armor myself up with my scars so that things can’t cut as deep and I can convince myself it doesn't hurt.
Identity:
We define ourselves based on the roles we play or the things we have done with our lives. We have never stopped to think that our lives do not belong to us, and that is a fact.
Our identity is wrapped up into what we have, what we are capable of on our own, who we associate with and what we do for a living instead of who we really belong to.
Few know what it feels like to have your identity all stripped away even once in a lifetime, let alone several times. This last time, it was all stripped away in less than a few seconds by only a few short words. “No More”… the words God spoke to me back in May. Oh, I had choice here, but those words were so powerful I didn’t dare disobey.
I was forced to give up everything I knew about myself and my entire career in a matter of moments. I was now forced to see myself from a different lens and forced to depend on someone I cannot see.
Where Did We Go Wrong?
"Lean not on your own understanding"… in these 6 words we are told that we shouldn’t try to go it alone. But we do.
All.
The.
Time.
Everything nowadays seems geared toward "self." Self-reliance has become a profitable market AND a powerful movement. But you have no idea what it’s costing you!
We keep trying harder and harder, doing more and more, and yet it continues to leave us depleted and empty. The word “try” implies doubt, and we don't even realize it!
We buy another book. Another crystal. Another deck of cards. We take another class. Watch another video. Take another vacation. All just to feel better in our day-to-day lives.
Who Said Self-Reliance is Best?
When it comes to Faith, we need to understand this means there is a reliance on someone/something more powerful than us, who can help us work out the difficulties we experience. We don't need to do it alone. Now, how many of you reading this actually apply this principle to your day to day life?
I had to learn this the hard way. Sadly, I didn’t even realize I had a problem.
Sure, people have mocked me a little for being a “control freak” and I would just smile. Sadly, when people let you down over and over again, you learn to rely only on yourself.
My story isn’t much different from yours I suspect.
Self-reliance leads to destruction. It destroys our faith and when we lose our faith, our attitudes shift and the world becomes our enemy. It turns us inward, and selfishness results. It keeps us from living a life of connection that God intended.
Self-reliance destroys dependence on our Creator. This destroys our faith and our relationship with Him and you lose the ability to hear His voice. THIS is the root of so much suffering in the world and we do not see it. I was forced to see it in my own life.
We were not created to navigate this life alone. Does this surprise you? Yep… me too. We were created to need our Creator just like a child needs a parent.
The Creator didn't call us into relationship just to turn around and say to "Go figure it out yourself". God desires to help us out of the quicksand. The problem is that we think we know what that is supposed to look like.
Self-Reliance is Idolatry:
This is gonna sting a little.
Self-reliance is the opposite of humility... it is PRIDE.
Self-reliance is the attempt to be like God without depending ON God.
We as humans seek ways to obtain power other than through the Creator. This shuts God out of our lives. We declare ourselves righteous or good based on what we can do, but it isn’t enough for the Creator. He doesn’t care what we “do”, he cares about having a relationship with us. This is why it is said you cannot get to Heaven on works alone. Dependence on God builds relationship. Good deeds become a natural byproduct of that relationship. Not the other way around.
With pride, when you stumble and fall, it hurts more because you fall from a height. That pain we feel when disappointed is often pride, because we thought we were bigger than we actually are.
When you rely on God, it doesn't hurt as bad because you are already humble and don't fall so far because you are already “at His feet” if you will. This is humility.
The enemy of Faith is self-reliance. It is disguised as devotion.
You aren't worshipping God... you are worshipping yourself. This is idolatry. Idolatry is making that “thing” a subject of focus. To worship something simply means to place your focus upon it. What we worship becomes an idol. So, independence, in essence, is idolatry… the act of worshipping yourself.
Yep. That one bothered the crap out of me too. I used to pride myself on my independence. But independence came out of being forced to handle things alone. I looked inward. I didn’t look up. And over the years it cost me. The result was anguish I couldn’t figure out how to heal.
Iron Sharpens Iron:
We will all face challenges, and it happens for a reason. Challenges shape us. The harder the challenge, the deeper the meaning or the lesson the Creator desires for us to learn. Churchianity or religiosity teaches us this is “punishment.” That’s a lie. It’s refinement!
We are tested in what are called "pressure seasons" where God is trying to move you beyond yourself. Are you going to go inward or look up?
Failures, when handled appropriately, will bring you closer to God.
Self-reliance drives you away and kills faith. What is life without faith?
Every challenge we face is an invitation from the Creator to turn to Him and come back Home.
To follow God means to give up independence... and I know the weight of that ask.
Final Thoughts:
Everything around us is designed to push a bigger, better version of yourself. When the heck did God ever create imperfection? That is the evil idiot in your ear my friend!
Self-denial is an attack on a twisted culture of self-assertion and self-focus that is hell bent on destroying us. We need to get outside of the grip society has on us. We need to put the power back into the proper hands… the One who made us.
There is peace in giving up that control. It does not mean that the enemy will not sneak in and poke you with fear. Again, this is a tool to sharpen us… Faith over fear. It conditions us to change who we turn to.
We need to die to that "self" part of ourselves that wants to assert itself against the Creator's will.
With Love
Sincerely,
Becky Costello
Soul Therapy and Energy Healing
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