What I Learned From My Father

Every once and a while I like to use AI to give me a “quote of the day”.

I find this entertaining sometimes, and a fun way to be inspired.

But today’s quote surprised me a bit…

It reads:

“He has shown you, o mortal, what is good. And what does God require of you? To act justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with God”.

This one happened to be straight outta the Bible (Micah 6:8).

And perfectly fitting.

Act justly.

Show mercy.

Walk humbly.

I question if humans really understand the meaning in these words.

Must people justify their actions, not "act justly".

Few ever show mercy.

Walk humbly? Haaaa!!!

I have always had a special place in my heart for my father. My thoughts venture towards how much meaning this quote/scripture holds when I reflect on my life with him.

He is a simple man and as he has gotten older, he has learned to let life roll off his shoulders.

As I have gotten older, I have had the honor of seeing his heart.

I think I have always seen his heart, even when there has been pain covering it.

I have his sense of humor.

I look like him.

We think the same stupid stuff is funny.

Sometimes we even enunciate our words the same way for “comedic inflection”.

I am a proud "daddy's girl".

He has only said “I love you” a handful of times, but not once have I ever questioned if he loved me.

He maintained connection even when I was distant.

He tried when no one else cared enough to.

He taught me to take ownership of what you do wrong, because when I spoke up about my feelings, he never made an excuse… he just changed and became a better man.

I don’t have many memories of my childhood, but the ones I have are mostly with my dad. When I was little, he taught me how to walk a cow at show. Yep… I used to show cattle as a little girl. Her name was Vista. I still remember that time in my life when I hear “It’s Still Rock n Roll to Me” by Billy Joel because it came on the radio when we were on our way to the show.

When I was a little older, he gave me some of his records. That’s where I fell in love with Fleetwood Mac. It was the first time I heard Tusk, and it is still my favorite song by them to this day. He probably doesn’t remember this… but I do.

Recently, this man I love dearly was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. By the grace of God, it has not spread and full recovery is possible, but it will be a long journey.

As this news came in, he is more concerned about his best friend who just went through hell in his own cancer journey than he is about himself. In my dad’s words, “If he can go through THAT, I can go through this”.

When I heard the word “skin cancer” I lost my dang mind… and here he is thinking about someone else. If that isn’t humility, I don’t know what is.

As some of you know, I have been on my own spiritual journey, and this has caused me to really look at my relationship with God and what it means to “live as God requires”. It’s caused me to look at where I hold anger and hurt. It’s caused me to evaluate relationships. It caused me to look at what kind of person I am and what kind of person I really want to be. When you go through dark stuff, it can change you, and not for the better. I became bitter. But I see I needed to, in order to protect myself for a while.

For me, that has meant learning to forgive. If you don’t know me, I am stubborn and I do not back down when myself or someone I love is done dirty. I have had a fight on my hands since 2016 trying to get my husband through some of his darkest days and I did it mostly alone. Most of my help came from complete strangers (including many clients and readers here!!) and a close friend or two.

But my dad was there for both of us… in his own way. He likes to send funny memes (what he calls mee-mees), his way to connect and show he is thinking of you.

And now it is time for me to be there for him.

Embracing my faith has sometimes made me feel like I was selling my soul (that’s the stubbornness/evil one talking). But when you understand what God requires and what happens when you don’t follow suit, you are more inclined to listen.

Did you know forgiveness is a non-negotiable to get into Heaven?

Do you know what you become when you don’t?

Do a little experiment… look around at some of the older people you know. How are they? Are they happy and peaceful or are they filled with bitterness, life is crappy and everything is filtered through a negative lens?

The happy ones figured out how to forgive.

The bitter ones did not.

My father never held a grudge against me even when I was a complete terror in my teens and 20’s. I think I broke his heart. But he forgave me and continued to love me anyway.

Even when I was a psychic medium, he didn’t love me any less, even though he didn’t want anything to do with it, and I was ok with that. Do you know what it feels like to be loved by someone who does not agree with what you do for a living, yet you don’t question their love for you? That is a special gift.

The quote/scripture above really hit home.

It encourages us to let go of anger and division, and to choose to treat others with grace.

To seek justice and mercy by standing up for the weak and downtrodden, forgive one another, and show compassion to those who are hurting.

To not live in fear, for hope is always available, no matter how dark things seem.

My dad believes in justice, yet his heart is full of mercy.

He is giving, does not live in fear and finds his own way to help those who are hurting even when he doesn’t know what to say.

He did not hang onto anger… he learned to forgive as he got older and peace was the result and you can see it in his eyes.

He owned his mistakes and showed me what taking responsibility looks like.

He has hope no matter what is going on around him.

I am learning these things from my dad because he loved me even when I dishonored him.

Even though he has a battle ahead of him, he is handling it with grace and humility.

I had the honor of going to his oncology appointment yesterday as his daughter… and a nurse, because I worked in the field and that knowledge could give him a bit of reassurance.

I have always said cancer is a teacher. It doesn’t have to be the enemy. When cancer shows up, you learn a lot. You learn love. You learn strength. You learn courage. You learn vulnerability.

And I am learning humility, grace, accountability and love from the man I call Dad.

(I love you Dad)

Take these words in…

Act justly.

Show mercy.

Forgive.

Walk humbly.

With Love

Sincerely,

Becky Costello

Spiritual Life Coaching and Energy Healing